Today, children of employees at work came to do some trick or treating. Feeling the spirit of spooks and scares, I decided to craft a mask that was a cross between the antagonist in Predator, and Jenova, the antagonist in Final Fantasy VII.
When I was making it, I didn't expect it to be frightening at all. But after I have glued and taped down the last few wires and let the silver paint dry up, it started to look unsettling. What completed the look was the black electrical tape that I added in an ecks across the lips. It wasn't the usual Halloween scare, rather it was something weird and eerie to the point that it was already disturbing.
It was a silver cyborg face which broke to freedom but was pacified, never to tell the tale about it.
As I wore my creation, children didn't mind my presence. They were too fixated on the sheer quantity of candies and treats people prepared. However, there was one little girl who looked at me in the eyes, fumbled backwards, and started to cry. What I did was to wave back at her, and that succeeded in cheering her up. I was relieved that I didn't scare her off. I made my mask not to scare children away, but to appease the desire in my hands to do something creative.
The busy day ended with the children all going home with a bag full of sweets and smiles painted across their happy little faces. I, feeling a sense of proud achievement to Jenova (a teammate of mine told me I looked like Jenova), laid her beside my monitor at work: an eerie and constant reminder that I can achieve things when I put my mind to it.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Always Smiling
The day of our orientation about Pointwest was a sleepy day for me. I stayed up late the previous evening, since we went to Bulacan to take part in my grandfather's anniversary. It has been a sacred tradition for us, since anyone who broke to his last wish would feel his presence.
The icebreaker for that day was to say your name, and to say something unique about yourself. Nadja, one of the facilitators, started by saying her name and some details about her. She also shared that no matter how tired she was, she never ever frowns in front of people -- hindi siya nagbuborsimangot. I was aptly intrigued. In the back of my mind, I thought it was impossible.
At almost eleven months into my stay here at Pointwest, true enough, I've never seen Nadja frown. I've seen her get upset, but never did I witness her smile turn upside down.
For the past few days, I've been getting increasingly tired. My lack of discipline pushes me to stay up late, making me late for work or be extremely groggy during the day. I manage to always stay lively at work, but when I get home, I just feel so tired in many ways that I frown just about everything. Nadja may have inspired me for always trying to be cheerful, and I'm pleased about it. Now, I just want to stay happy at home even if I'm really worn out, because I am happy and content at my home.
The icebreaker for that day was to say your name, and to say something unique about yourself. Nadja, one of the facilitators, started by saying her name and some details about her. She also shared that no matter how tired she was, she never ever frowns in front of people -- hindi siya nagbuborsimangot. I was aptly intrigued. In the back of my mind, I thought it was impossible.
At almost eleven months into my stay here at Pointwest, true enough, I've never seen Nadja frown. I've seen her get upset, but never did I witness her smile turn upside down.
For the past few days, I've been getting increasingly tired. My lack of discipline pushes me to stay up late, making me late for work or be extremely groggy during the day. I manage to always stay lively at work, but when I get home, I just feel so tired in many ways that I frown just about everything. Nadja may have inspired me for always trying to be cheerful, and I'm pleased about it. Now, I just want to stay happy at home even if I'm really worn out, because I am happy and content at my home.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
[Raven]
I've finally bought her. She's an Xbox 360 slim, a 250 GB beauty bundled with the awesome device named Kinect. After four or so months of putting aside a part of my salary, she's here. I'm planning to call her Raven, but I'm still considering other names.
She's to become the life of the party, always placing grins on happy people's faces. In the end, I bought her thinking not only about myself, but other people as well.
She's to become the life of the party, always placing grins on happy people's faces. In the end, I bought her thinking not only about myself, but other people as well.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Two Choices
I'm slowly starting to grow independent of "that" site. I've told myself over and over that it will not bring me any good. However, I cannot convince myself not to pay a visit. Like a drug, I have grown addicted to it: the plentiful locales showing off their ripped bodies, putting on their most handsome of smiles, and of course, a few daunting enough to show their engorged packages.
In that gay market, your body is the currency to a new relationship. People glance through profile after profile in search for one thing: free sex. Yes, there are people much more better than that, however, the truth lies in the fact that most of the members there are after a quick thrill to quench one's carnal desires and bodily pleasures.
To be blunt, I can do it all by myself. I've been joking around with my friends online: I'm in a relationship with my right hand.
I've been single for almost a year, and I'm still alive. More importantly, I am content in being single. Yes, I do miss the times when I have someone to cuddle to during the cold, rainy weather. I miss the quiet times of eating with your special someone in a very ordinary place -- however your special someone makes everything out of the ordinary. I am a hopeless romantic and an eternal dreamer, but I have learned that reality isn't all that hard, once I understood how to accept it. I quote myself a few months back: being single is a choice.
Years ago, I've cursed everything for making me gay. I felt as if everything is twice as difficult because I was erroneous. I couldn't like the people I liked. People bullied me for being different from them. I've cried so much that my eyes dried up, unwilling to shed another teardrop. But, growing older, living life, and having friends that accepted me no matter who I was made me realize one thing: being gay is a choice. It might have been a choice I made without my full knowledge, but to no regrets. I have accepted who I am, and if given another choice, I'd still choose to be gay. It is who I am.
Being gay in a homophobic society isn't easy. It is a constant battle between fitting in and standing out. I admire all the gay people who step out of the closet, but I do respect all the gay men living in the darkest corners of it. Everyone has their own choices, and it is through my choices that I will make a difference, at least in my own life.
Destiny gives us chances; we make the choices.
In that gay market, your body is the currency to a new relationship. People glance through profile after profile in search for one thing: free sex. Yes, there are people much more better than that, however, the truth lies in the fact that most of the members there are after a quick thrill to quench one's carnal desires and bodily pleasures.
To be blunt, I can do it all by myself. I've been joking around with my friends online: I'm in a relationship with my right hand.
I've been single for almost a year, and I'm still alive. More importantly, I am content in being single. Yes, I do miss the times when I have someone to cuddle to during the cold, rainy weather. I miss the quiet times of eating with your special someone in a very ordinary place -- however your special someone makes everything out of the ordinary. I am a hopeless romantic and an eternal dreamer, but I have learned that reality isn't all that hard, once I understood how to accept it. I quote myself a few months back: being single is a choice.
Years ago, I've cursed everything for making me gay. I felt as if everything is twice as difficult because I was erroneous. I couldn't like the people I liked. People bullied me for being different from them. I've cried so much that my eyes dried up, unwilling to shed another teardrop. But, growing older, living life, and having friends that accepted me no matter who I was made me realize one thing: being gay is a choice. It might have been a choice I made without my full knowledge, but to no regrets. I have accepted who I am, and if given another choice, I'd still choose to be gay. It is who I am.
Being gay in a homophobic society isn't easy. It is a constant battle between fitting in and standing out. I admire all the gay people who step out of the closet, but I do respect all the gay men living in the darkest corners of it. Everyone has their own choices, and it is through my choices that I will make a difference, at least in my own life.
Destiny gives us chances; we make the choices.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Drew Manning's Fit 2 Fat 2 Fit
There is a personal trainer in America who's becoming obese in purpose.
Drew Manning, a certified gym rat rocking a chiseled body of 193 lbs, has gained about 70 lbs of fat deliberately. He has turned from lean to obese in over three and a half months. And news say he still has four more weeks into his self-ballooning. All his weight came from all sorts of junk food and sugary treats that he'd never touched before, coupled with him not exercising as regularly.
In the news, he explains that this is personal mission named Fit 2 Fat 2 Fit, and that he's currently in the Fit 2 Fat part. Manning shares that in becoming obese, he has taken for granted the simple, everyday things that he never had any problems when his stomach was still flat, such as tying shoelaces or clipping toenails. Now, at a staggering 261 lbs, he admits that he misses his old, energetic self, since when he gained all that extra weight, he has become sluggish and lazy. His point in doing so is that he wanted to understand how people who has problems with their weight feel, and prove that he can return to his regular, impressive physique. If he can do it, so can others, with nerves of steel, unwavering dedication, and unfaltering discipline at hand.
My personal conquest in gaining weight has become a battle of discipline, with me always losing day in and day out. I know the key in gaining weight is eating nutritious food and getting an ample amount of quality sleep. Yes, I have become more conscious about the food I eat, but I always end up staying until the wee hours of the morning, feeling sluggish in waking up the following day. I have been reminding myself constantly that I will never hit the gym until I learn the discipline that it requires. And true enough, I am correct in saying myself so.
Drew Manning, a certified gym rat rocking a chiseled body of 193 lbs, has gained about 70 lbs of fat deliberately. He has turned from lean to obese in over three and a half months. And news say he still has four more weeks into his self-ballooning. All his weight came from all sorts of junk food and sugary treats that he'd never touched before, coupled with him not exercising as regularly.
In the news, he explains that this is personal mission named Fit 2 Fat 2 Fit, and that he's currently in the Fit 2 Fat part. Manning shares that in becoming obese, he has taken for granted the simple, everyday things that he never had any problems when his stomach was still flat, such as tying shoelaces or clipping toenails. Now, at a staggering 261 lbs, he admits that he misses his old, energetic self, since when he gained all that extra weight, he has become sluggish and lazy. His point in doing so is that he wanted to understand how people who has problems with their weight feel, and prove that he can return to his regular, impressive physique. If he can do it, so can others, with nerves of steel, unwavering dedication, and unfaltering discipline at hand.
My personal conquest in gaining weight has become a battle of discipline, with me always losing day in and day out. I know the key in gaining weight is eating nutritious food and getting an ample amount of quality sleep. Yes, I have become more conscious about the food I eat, but I always end up staying until the wee hours of the morning, feeling sluggish in waking up the following day. I have been reminding myself constantly that I will never hit the gym until I learn the discipline that it requires. And true enough, I am correct in saying myself so.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Stepping Up: Floor (Part Sixteen)
One of the former team leads of Omega, who is now assigned in Atlanta, generously sent some cash for the team. Our project manager quickly elected to have a team lunch, thanks to the money our friend gave us.
While waiting for our order to arrive, our project manager cracked a joke in saying that he'll be leaving Omega, and that he'll form a new team consisting of all of the current leads of our team. With everyone laughing, one of my colleagues replied that that will be the end of Omega. But, our manager said that if ever the moon was shot, it would be the opportune time to step up and show our potentials as future leads.
At the back of my head, I wondered if the time will come when I will become a team lead. Ten months in, and I can't say that I'm willing to lead a team, let alone handle a person as my junior. I dislike being responsible for someone else, because from time to time, I feel that I don't have the capacity to take full responsibility over my own actions. I can proudly say that I have been stepping up and doing my best as a junior developer, but I can't say so when the time comes.
Maybe in time, I'll be ready. Just maybe.
While waiting for our order to arrive, our project manager cracked a joke in saying that he'll be leaving Omega, and that he'll form a new team consisting of all of the current leads of our team. With everyone laughing, one of my colleagues replied that that will be the end of Omega. But, our manager said that if ever the moon was shot, it would be the opportune time to step up and show our potentials as future leads.
At the back of my head, I wondered if the time will come when I will become a team lead. Ten months in, and I can't say that I'm willing to lead a team, let alone handle a person as my junior. I dislike being responsible for someone else, because from time to time, I feel that I don't have the capacity to take full responsibility over my own actions. I can proudly say that I have been stepping up and doing my best as a junior developer, but I can't say so when the time comes.
Maybe in time, I'll be ready. Just maybe.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Anticipation
If there is one word that can describe what I'm feeling right now, it's disappointed.
I've been very excited in buying something for myself. As I withdrew my hard earned savings, I wondered if it wasn't a selfish move on my part. Deciding that this one was for me, I anxiously waited in full anticipation for Sunday to arrive, only to find out that what I wanted to buy was out of stock. Sigh. I had the gut feel that it was the case, but I didn't pay attention. As I went home, I hid the heavy feeling that replaced my enthusiasm and put on a face that said everything was alright, even though it wasn't.
I'll be back on Saturday, anyways.
I've been very excited in buying something for myself. As I withdrew my hard earned savings, I wondered if it wasn't a selfish move on my part. Deciding that this one was for me, I anxiously waited in full anticipation for Sunday to arrive, only to find out that what I wanted to buy was out of stock. Sigh. I had the gut feel that it was the case, but I didn't pay attention. As I went home, I hid the heavy feeling that replaced my enthusiasm and put on a face that said everything was alright, even though it wasn't.
I'll be back on Saturday, anyways.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Out of Respect (Part Two)
Again, I've had another heated argument with my mom. It's not as bad as the last time, but still, she raised her irritated voice at me. I don't have any bad sentiments against my mom. I love her very much since she has given a lot of things I am thankful for. But I hope she understands that sometimes, things happen because of her.
Last week, I asked permission that my sister and I will be borrowing the car today and tomorrow, since we will be going to the dentist and to Greenhills, respectively. Asking if we have any plans to go out, she shook her head, and nodded in approval for us to take the car. But a few days ago, she said that they will be using the car tonight, since they will be fetching my dad's new prescription glasses. Being patient and accepting compromise, we adjusted our previously afternoon schedule to the dentist to a morning one instead. Saturday comes, and I wake up to find out that she went to the market, only to come back half past noon.
In whole honesty, I wasn't a bit surprised. I was actually expecting something like that to happen, because she always does that whenever we'll use the car.
My sister and I got back home at around five this afternoon, as agreed upon by my mom. She greets us by asking what took us so long, and that she was supposed to be picking up my dad at his office at that time. I told her that the dentist did a lot of work to both my sister and I. She snapped back with a raised tone that she was only asking and that I didn't need to be angry. Maybe she felt that I was raising my voice at her, but I wasn't. Deep inside, I wanted to tell her that our schedule was supposed to be early this morning, and that she came back after lunch.
Out of respect, I just walked away. I just hope she understands that a reason why we were late was because she was late as well. I know she does, that's why I'm disappointed.
Last week, I asked permission that my sister and I will be borrowing the car today and tomorrow, since we will be going to the dentist and to Greenhills, respectively. Asking if we have any plans to go out, she shook her head, and nodded in approval for us to take the car. But a few days ago, she said that they will be using the car tonight, since they will be fetching my dad's new prescription glasses. Being patient and accepting compromise, we adjusted our previously afternoon schedule to the dentist to a morning one instead. Saturday comes, and I wake up to find out that she went to the market, only to come back half past noon.
In whole honesty, I wasn't a bit surprised. I was actually expecting something like that to happen, because she always does that whenever we'll use the car.
My sister and I got back home at around five this afternoon, as agreed upon by my mom. She greets us by asking what took us so long, and that she was supposed to be picking up my dad at his office at that time. I told her that the dentist did a lot of work to both my sister and I. She snapped back with a raised tone that she was only asking and that I didn't need to be angry. Maybe she felt that I was raising my voice at her, but I wasn't. Deep inside, I wanted to tell her that our schedule was supposed to be early this morning, and that she came back after lunch.
Out of respect, I just walked away. I just hope she understands that a reason why we were late was because she was late as well. I know she does, that's why I'm disappointed.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Selfish?
I'm planning to buy something worth over half of my savings from work. I was so excited, but then I thought if I really wanted that thing that bad. Heck, I even thought if I needed it. With so many things happening around, a lot of people need any kind of help, even from strangers.
Strangers, huh?
But I've decided: it's a gift for myself from myself. It's about time that I started to think about myself, and not just each and every single person I see. Being selfish isn't my case here, it's just me curbing my overly altruistic self that usually denies me of what I want, or even what I really deserve.
Strangers, huh?
But I've decided: it's a gift for myself from myself. It's about time that I started to think about myself, and not just each and every single person I see. Being selfish isn't my case here, it's just me curbing my overly altruistic self that usually denies me of what I want, or even what I really deserve.
Monday, October 10, 2011
These Times
These kinds of times just really do happen. You feel you have a lot of things in your hands that you are forced to let some fall out of your grasp and wander away from your focus, even just a while.
I've been somewhat neglecting my blog. Either I have been really busy at work, or I am too tired to think of something meaningful to write to my future self. I just want to feel inspired, even if nothing is actually there to inspire me.
I've been somewhat neglecting my blog. Either I have been really busy at work, or I am too tired to think of something meaningful to write to my future self. I just want to feel inspired, even if nothing is actually there to inspire me.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Missing Someone
"Missing someone isn't about how long it has been since you've seen them or the amount of times since you've talked. It's about that very moment when you find yourself doing something and wishing they were right there by your side."
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Freedom?
In economics, there is no such thing as a free meal. The true cost of anything is what one gives up in order to attain it. In each opportunity we choose to hold onto, there may be numerous other choices that we no longer have the ability to see and choose. It is certainly possible that we may never know what these opportune moments are, but the fact remains that these things can no longer be a part of our being.
In every single thing we choose, we certainly give up something else. A sacrifice of not choosing will definitely grant us new choices. Each has its own merits, but which one is better? I firmly believe that our freedom comes from our ability to make choices, but now, I'm having second thoughts. It seems that each time I make a decision, a small part of my freedom withers away, never to be seen again till the end of time.
In every single thing we choose, we certainly give up something else. A sacrifice of not choosing will definitely grant us new choices. Each has its own merits, but which one is better? I firmly believe that our freedom comes from our ability to make choices, but now, I'm having second thoughts. It seems that each time I make a decision, a small part of my freedom withers away, never to be seen again till the end of time.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Constitution (File 5)
According to the do-it-yourself health kiosk you operate with a five peso coin,
--
Your Measurements:
--
Weight: 153lb 8oz / 69.7kg
Height: 6ft 1.2in / 186cm
Body Mass Index (BMI): 20.1kg/m²
Age and Gender: 23M
Blood Pressure
Maximum Systolic: 100 mmHg
Minimum Diastolic: 69 mmHg
Body Fat Estimation
Fat Index: 10.7%
Fat Mass: 16lb 4oz / 7.4kg
Free Fat Mass: 137lb 3oz / 62.3kg
Heart Rate Analysis
Heart Rate: 96 P/min
Maximum Heart Rate: 111 P/min
Minimum Heart Rate: 52 P/min
--
References:
--
Normal Weight: 141.1 - 189.8lb / 64.0 - 86.1kg
Normal BMI Value: 18.5 - 24.9
Normal/High/Hypertension Systole: 129 / 130-140 / 140+
Normal/High/Hypertension Diastole: 84 / 85-90 / 90+
Normal Fat Index: 14 - 20%
Normal Fat Mass: 22.5 - 34.4lb / 10.2 - 15.6kg
--
Your Measurements:
--
Weight: 153lb 8oz / 69.7kg
Height: 6ft 1.2in / 186cm
Body Mass Index (BMI): 20.1kg/m²
Age and Gender: 23M
Blood Pressure
Maximum Systolic: 100 mmHg
Minimum Diastolic: 69 mmHg
Body Fat Estimation
Fat Index: 10.7%
Fat Mass: 16lb 4oz / 7.4kg
Free Fat Mass: 137lb 3oz / 62.3kg
Heart Rate Analysis
Heart Rate: 96 P/min
Maximum Heart Rate: 111 P/min
Minimum Heart Rate: 52 P/min
--
References:
--
Normal Weight: 141.1 - 189.8lb / 64.0 - 86.1kg
Normal BMI Value: 18.5 - 24.9
Normal/High/Hypertension Systole: 129 / 130-140 / 140+
Normal/High/Hypertension Diastole: 84 / 85-90 / 90+
Normal Fat Index: 14 - 20%
Normal Fat Mass: 22.5 - 34.4lb / 10.2 - 15.6kg
Abroad
After a long wait, my passport has finally arrived. The grueling processing in the Department of Foreign Affairs resulted in a stiff document in brown sleeves. The very first thing that I thought was that it was a convenient item to have, since most application forms require proof of identity: a passport was one of those documents accepted. I have always had an "identity crisis" being not having enough identification that is recognized by banks or institutions. But then, I realized that hey, this is actually my passport. It had my face printed in shiny material on the first page of it. I realized that this same document will be my gateway to different places, hopefully all over the world. As far as I can remember, it has always been a dream of mine to travel to different countries and get exposed to beautiful places, know interesting cultures, and meet unique people.
And this document with a semblance to crisp money is the first key among many.
And this document with a semblance to crisp money is the first key among many.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Team Omega: Floor (Part Fifteen)
Omega, my team at work, had a night out at my boss' house last Friday. A lot of fun things happened, and in fact, it was one of the best night outs to date.
Looking at the current situation of our company, it seems that people are relatively dissatisfied at least about something. For others, it is the meager compensation as compared to other companies. For some people, it is about the people they are working with: either too bossy and self-centered, or just doesn't give a damn at all.
I have to say that am lucky that I feel pretty much content with what I have. The benefits can definitely better, but my consolation is that I am working with people who I get along with well. At least for now, that's enough.
Looking at the current situation of our company, it seems that people are relatively dissatisfied at least about something. For others, it is the meager compensation as compared to other companies. For some people, it is about the people they are working with: either too bossy and self-centered, or just doesn't give a damn at all.
I have to say that am lucky that I feel pretty much content with what I have. The benefits can definitely better, but my consolation is that I am working with people who I get along with well. At least for now, that's enough.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Simple Things: Floor (Part Fourteen)
Work today was one of those experiences wherein you tend to ask yourself if you'll wish for something more.
Time steadily soldiered onwards as the day progressed. I briefly explained how a part of our application worked to our two new teammates. I found it interesting that I managed to fluently explain how things went by -- and fluency isn't one of my best assets. Even more, I enjoyed myself in explaining how the processes went. Maybe it was just me enjoying a small, intimate group, or me having a great time in proving to myself that I could do it.
Right after that, I tagged along with a few friends of mine to eat some good old street food. It was then that I realized how I missed how nice vinegar and onions tasted on fishballs and kikiam. It was a slice of a shallow paradise -- the dusk sun slowly creeping away, the noise of vehicles rushing by, and of course, the smell of cooking oil frying some skewer delights.
I felt very mababaw, as a matter of fact. Sometimes, when things get very busy, I fail to see the simple things that make me feel content deep inside. And to me, those things are the things that matter the most.
Time steadily soldiered onwards as the day progressed. I briefly explained how a part of our application worked to our two new teammates. I found it interesting that I managed to fluently explain how things went by -- and fluency isn't one of my best assets. Even more, I enjoyed myself in explaining how the processes went. Maybe it was just me enjoying a small, intimate group, or me having a great time in proving to myself that I could do it.
Right after that, I tagged along with a few friends of mine to eat some good old street food. It was then that I realized how I missed how nice vinegar and onions tasted on fishballs and kikiam. It was a slice of a shallow paradise -- the dusk sun slowly creeping away, the noise of vehicles rushing by, and of course, the smell of cooking oil frying some skewer delights.
I felt very mababaw, as a matter of fact. Sometimes, when things get very busy, I fail to see the simple things that make me feel content deep inside. And to me, those things are the things that matter the most.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Out of Respect
A few days ago, my mom just snapped. She went into a furious episode of saying things out of anger. It started because she thought that my dad was the one who set up the dining table. We all know that my mom dislikes that, since my dad is the one working and putting food in the table. I understand her sentiment, but what she did back then was a little bit too far, in my opinion.
She burst into yelling and yelling about things all of us already know. Her feelings were she's the only one moving in the house to do chores, and it was us crossing the line when my dad starts to do them too. A little irritated, I told her without raising my voice that I was the one who set up the table, but she just shrugged it off, telling me how incomplete my job was. I just totally lost my appetite and walked away without saying anything else.
In my room, my brother told me that I shouldn't have done what I did. He thought that I just made things worse for all of us. I asked him if what I did was wrong. He said no, and before he could say anything else, I told him that if that's the case, how will I make things, ugly as they were, uglier? It was just me standing up for what I believed is right. Yes, I agree that my mom does most of the work, but it wasn't correct that she treated us lower than our pet dogs. All of us do something to help with the chores in the house, and it wasn't right for her to just snap out like that.
I'm not angry. Probably I'm just a little disappointed on my mom because I thought that she can be better than that. I respect her so much, and hopefully, she knows that I do.
She burst into yelling and yelling about things all of us already know. Her feelings were she's the only one moving in the house to do chores, and it was us crossing the line when my dad starts to do them too. A little irritated, I told her without raising my voice that I was the one who set up the table, but she just shrugged it off, telling me how incomplete my job was. I just totally lost my appetite and walked away without saying anything else.
In my room, my brother told me that I shouldn't have done what I did. He thought that I just made things worse for all of us. I asked him if what I did was wrong. He said no, and before he could say anything else, I told him that if that's the case, how will I make things, ugly as they were, uglier? It was just me standing up for what I believed is right. Yes, I agree that my mom does most of the work, but it wasn't correct that she treated us lower than our pet dogs. All of us do something to help with the chores in the house, and it wasn't right for her to just snap out like that.
I'm not angry. Probably I'm just a little disappointed on my mom because I thought that she can be better than that. I respect her so much, and hopefully, she knows that I do.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Constitution (File 4)
According to the do-it-yourself health kiosk you operate with a five peso coin,
--
Your Measurements:
--
Weight: 155lb 11oz / 70.7kg
Height: 6ft 1.6in / 187cm
Body Mass Index (BMI): 20.2kg/m²
Age and Gender: 23M
Blood Pressure
Maximum Systolic: 124 mmHg
Minimum Diastolic: 72 mmHg
Body Fat Estimation
Fat Index: 11.1%
Fat Mass: 17lb 2oz / 7.8kg
Free Fat Mass: 138lb 8oz / 62.9kg
Heart Rate Analysis
Heart Rate: 81 P/min
Maximum Heart Rate: 133 P/min
Minimum Heart Rate: 68 P/min
--
References:
--
Normal Weight: 141.1 - 189.8lb / 64.0 - 86.1kg
Normal BMI Value: 18.5 - 24.9
Normal/High/Hypertension Systole: 129 / 130-140 / 140+
Normal/High/Hypertension Diastole: 84 / 85-90 / 90+
Normal Fat Index: 14 - 20%
Normal Fat Mass: 22.5 - 34.4lb / 10.2 - 15.6kg
--
Your Measurements:
--
Weight: 155lb 11oz / 70.7kg
Height: 6ft 1.6in / 187cm
Body Mass Index (BMI): 20.2kg/m²
Age and Gender: 23M
Blood Pressure
Maximum Systolic: 124 mmHg
Minimum Diastolic: 72 mmHg
Body Fat Estimation
Fat Index: 11.1%
Fat Mass: 17lb 2oz / 7.8kg
Free Fat Mass: 138lb 8oz / 62.9kg
Heart Rate Analysis
Heart Rate: 81 P/min
Maximum Heart Rate: 133 P/min
Minimum Heart Rate: 68 P/min
--
References:
--
Normal Weight: 141.1 - 189.8lb / 64.0 - 86.1kg
Normal BMI Value: 18.5 - 24.9
Normal/High/Hypertension Systole: 129 / 130-140 / 140+
Normal/High/Hypertension Diastole: 84 / 85-90 / 90+
Normal Fat Index: 14 - 20%
Normal Fat Mass: 22.5 - 34.4lb / 10.2 - 15.6kg
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Measurement: Floor (Part Thirteen)
Since I started working, I have believed that this career is not the career I will be in in the future. I am not saying that I do not like programming at all. Programming brings me a love-hate relationship: I love it during those times wherein I surmount a seemingly impossible obstacle, and I hate it during the times wherein I realize there is a seemingly impossible obstacle. It has been a constant cycle of loving and hating, and I have learned to like and accept it as an integral part of who I am today. For the past eight months, I have not totally regretted a day that has passed, however I can just imagine myself enjoying more in another career.
During my sophomore year in college, a senior shared his thoughts with the question if my course will make me happy. His stand was simple: if you find yourself constantly pushing your limits to do better each time, then yes, that is the course for you. However, if most of the time you find yourself bordering the lines of mediocrity and failure, then it's time to reconsider. There are plenty times wherein I answered the call to step up and persevere, but there are also the times wherein I told myself that I was tired, and let someone else carry the flag for all of us. Honestly, I am happy and content with what I am doing, but there are those times wherein I feel empty inside. A part of me wants to do something else, but another part of me is settled to being who I am now -- and that is what troubles me the most.
During my sophomore year in college, a senior shared his thoughts with the question if my course will make me happy. His stand was simple: if you find yourself constantly pushing your limits to do better each time, then yes, that is the course for you. However, if most of the time you find yourself bordering the lines of mediocrity and failure, then it's time to reconsider. There are plenty times wherein I answered the call to step up and persevere, but there are also the times wherein I told myself that I was tired, and let someone else carry the flag for all of us. Honestly, I am happy and content with what I am doing, but there are those times wherein I feel empty inside. A part of me wants to do something else, but another part of me is settled to being who I am now -- and that is what troubles me the most.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Cologne
A few weeks ago, I went out with someone who was very vocal in telling me that he liked me. He would constantly ask me how I was doing, how my day was turning out, and how I was feeling. He knew what I was going through, and fair enough, he was one of the people whom I believed would understand what was happening to me. I sincerely trusted his words of encouragement, to the point that I relied on him for support.
But I was afraid. I wasn't ready. I honestly didn't know if I liked him for being that way, or because of the fact that I was going through something painful and didn't want to be lonely. With his honesty in mind, I gathered enough courage to tell him that I wasn't so sure of what I felt for him. He gave me some time and space to consider what I was really feeling, but it came to the point wherein he just couldn't bare it any longer.
I was too selfish for my own good. I told him that I wanted to think of my own happiness first before others, and that I believed that during that time, being alone was the right thing to do. It didn't exactly bring me happiness, but it brought me happiness contained in the fact that I was doing what I believed to be the correct step forward. In a very civil and composed manner, he told me everything that I did or did not do that brought about him pain, and that it was better to forget about each other.
At first, I didn't want to let go. However, I thought that he didn't deserve to be chained down, waiting for a future that was uncertain. Telling him that I understood why he felt that way, I asked him if he'll accept my apology for a chance for him to be my friend. I really wanted him to be a good friend because of his very kind and honest heart, but he said he wasn't sure.
I felt so ashamed of myself.
A few weeks have passed, and I learned that he now has a boyfriend. I was not surprised because of that, but what bewildered me was how I felt when I learned about it. It was a mix of four strong emotions that had a crude blend. The result was something unpleasant, but I managed to fight it off and tell myself that at least, he will forget about me.
The thing I regret doing was me taking him for granted. Yes, I was going through a lot, but it was not enough an excuse to take someone important for granted. I just sort of believed that he would understand me as he underwent the same things that I went through, and that was wrong. In the end, I only caused him pain, which was something he didn't deserve at all.
Until now, I am still uncertain about my feelings for him. But now, I have no more reason to think about it. Going back to the happier times, I asked him what was the cologne he wore when we went out. He wouldn't tell, and said that he'll give me some as a gift since I really liked it. As I was doing my groceries yesterday, I curiously picked up a bottle of cologne and tried it out -- it was his. Putting the small bottle in my basket, I wondered if my decision some weeks ago was the right thing.
It was. Painful as it may have been, but it was.
But I was afraid. I wasn't ready. I honestly didn't know if I liked him for being that way, or because of the fact that I was going through something painful and didn't want to be lonely. With his honesty in mind, I gathered enough courage to tell him that I wasn't so sure of what I felt for him. He gave me some time and space to consider what I was really feeling, but it came to the point wherein he just couldn't bare it any longer.
I was too selfish for my own good. I told him that I wanted to think of my own happiness first before others, and that I believed that during that time, being alone was the right thing to do. It didn't exactly bring me happiness, but it brought me happiness contained in the fact that I was doing what I believed to be the correct step forward. In a very civil and composed manner, he told me everything that I did or did not do that brought about him pain, and that it was better to forget about each other.
At first, I didn't want to let go. However, I thought that he didn't deserve to be chained down, waiting for a future that was uncertain. Telling him that I understood why he felt that way, I asked him if he'll accept my apology for a chance for him to be my friend. I really wanted him to be a good friend because of his very kind and honest heart, but he said he wasn't sure.
I felt so ashamed of myself.
A few weeks have passed, and I learned that he now has a boyfriend. I was not surprised because of that, but what bewildered me was how I felt when I learned about it. It was a mix of four strong emotions that had a crude blend. The result was something unpleasant, but I managed to fight it off and tell myself that at least, he will forget about me.
The thing I regret doing was me taking him for granted. Yes, I was going through a lot, but it was not enough an excuse to take someone important for granted. I just sort of believed that he would understand me as he underwent the same things that I went through, and that was wrong. In the end, I only caused him pain, which was something he didn't deserve at all.
Until now, I am still uncertain about my feelings for him. But now, I have no more reason to think about it. Going back to the happier times, I asked him what was the cologne he wore when we went out. He wouldn't tell, and said that he'll give me some as a gift since I really liked it. As I was doing my groceries yesterday, I curiously picked up a bottle of cologne and tried it out -- it was his. Putting the small bottle in my basket, I wondered if my decision some weeks ago was the right thing.
It was. Painful as it may have been, but it was.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)