Two Choices

I'm slowly starting to grow independent of "that" site. I've told myself over and over that it will not bring me any good. However, I cannot convince myself not to pay a visit. Like a drug, I have grown addicted to it: the plentiful locales showing off their ripped bodies, putting on their most handsome of smiles, and of course, a few daunting enough to show their engorged packages.

In that gay market, your body is the currency to a new relationship. People glance through profile after profile in search for one thing: free sex. Yes, there are people much more better than that, however, the truth lies in the fact that most of the members there are after a quick thrill to quench one's carnal desires and bodily pleasures.

To be blunt, I can do it all by myself. I've been joking around with my friends online: I'm in a relationship with my right hand.

I've been single for almost a year, and I'm still alive. More importantly, I am content in being single. Yes, I do miss the times when I have someone to cuddle to during the cold, rainy weather. I miss the quiet times of eating with your special someone in a very ordinary place -- however your special someone makes everything out of the ordinary. I am a hopeless romantic and an eternal dreamer, but I have learned that reality isn't all that hard, once I understood how to accept it. I quote myself a few months back: being single is a choice.

Years ago, I've cursed everything for making me gay. I felt as if everything is twice as difficult because I was erroneous. I couldn't like the people I liked. People bullied me for being different from them. I've cried so much that my eyes dried up, unwilling to shed another teardrop. But, growing older, living life, and having friends that accepted me no matter who I was made me realize one thing: being gay is a choice. It might have been a choice I made without my full knowledge, but to no regrets. I have accepted who I am, and if given another choice, I'd still choose to be gay. It is who I am.

Being gay in a homophobic society isn't easy. It is a constant battle between fitting in and standing out. I admire all the gay people who step out of the closet, but I do respect all the gay men living in the darkest corners of it. Everyone has their own choices, and it is through my choices that I will make a difference, at least in my own life.

Destiny gives us chances; we make the choices.