Test of Faith

..and I would have easily failed. Really, I feel pathetic sometimes.

I have a rather tough problem with a friend of mine now. I was so stressed out that I implored for divine intervention: I felt a cowardly feeling overcome me, so I asked God to give me a sign: I asked Him to give me a certain dream in order to let me know what I'm doing is right, and He did.

Having received the sign I asked, I stood with my decision, only for something really bad to happen in the few days that followed. I thought to myself why things had to be that way, but in the end, I accepted it and reasoned out that it was a lesson I needed to learn the hard way. In the verge of giving up, I received a text message from my friend that reassured me everything would be fine, at least for now.

At the end of everything, I learned that having faith isn't something you only do when pinned down and cornered. Deep inside, I asked for help because I wanted something or somebody to blame when things went horribly unwell. That was wrong. Faith requires an enormous amount of courage and will, as it is finding a solid sense of security in a whole lot of fear and uncertainty.

Lesson Learned - I

I don't know what to believe anymore. I'm just a hopeless and deranged man with a skewed sense of reality and trust. As it turns out, the series of unfortunate incidents are all just pure coincidence. It's either that or I am believing a manipulated truth.

Suspicions are normal, but when you suspect a person you trust, you really need to ask yourself why.

Lessons learned:
Never let your emotions dictate your actions, but things are easier said than done.