Bitter

Last night after hitting the gym, a bud of mine and I went to a nearby joint to eat. I asked my friend on how his date went, since the day before, he had miryenda with the girl he wanted to get to know. He told me that he liked the girl better, since he thought that they complemented each other -- him being quiet and cool, while the girl being the talkative and cheerful one.

His problem was that the girl's ex was a good friend of his, and was working in the same company as we (and the girl) do. He thought that it would be awkward if it happens that something more than friends develop between him and the girl he liked. I told him that he shouldn't mind that now, since he was still just in the getting-to-know-you part of things. He should worry that in the future, when things really develop into something else. Plus that time, I added, the guy would have probably moved on from his relationship with the girl.

I asked him if he's really alright with the girl being an officemate of ours. He said that it was just fine, since he's primarily focused on his tasks at hand when he's at work. He asked me why, and I told him that for me, "missing time" was important. I shared a little about my previous relationship, and that a mistake I did that made things worse was when I let my boyfriend (girlfriend: I'm not out at work) live with me and my family. Things just got out of hand. I personally grew tired of seeing him each and every day that passed, until came a time when we found ourselves in a very physical fight that I had to call it quits. Everything that was happening during the time was no longer healthy for both of us, and letting go was the best decision, I thought.

As we left, I said sorry since I felt that I sounded so bitter of what remained of my previous relationship. I told him that yes, I was bitter in a way, but I was more disappointed than resentful. I told him I was disappointed because my ex chose to bring himself down to a miserable and pitiful state. He asked me if my ex and I were still friends. My reply was no, because I felt I can no longer trust him ever again. He broke my trust way too many times that I felt he no longer deserved the trust I gave him over and over again to redeem himself and prove that he was better than what he turned out to be.