Tenacity: That June 2009 Incident

...I see this as a blessing in disguise, parang 'yung isang break-up quote lang, kelangang isipin na inilalayo lang ako ni Bro sa mga di naaangkop na kaibigan. I'll move on, because I realized there is more to life than this stopover with you guys. I hope that when we meet again, we all have grown into better human beings.

Bilang pagtatapos, mag-iiwan ako ng isang aral na huli ko nang natutunan, mula kay Kuya Trip:

"You can never be 'you' if you are defined by any group you have joined."

Jay, from his blog
June 10, 2009


This is probably a dangerous topic to tread on, but I am not taking sides here. I've ever since been an outsider about this issue that tore friendships apart. I didn't prod into the issue, I just childishly chose a side, since looking back, it was the only side I knew.

As far as I know, there were many people involved in the incident, but my only concern was two online friends, Jay, the owner of the entry, and someone I fondly called as Uncle, a person whom Jay and I respected. I valued my friendship with Jay because we had so much things in common, while I highly looked up on Uncle because he always knew what to say.

What happened three years ago was that Jay and Uncle had a falling out due to reasons no longer important now. Jay turned to me, seeking whatever solace I had to offer, as he told me his story on what happened between them. The end was that I took the emotions of Jay to myself and started to hate Uncle for what he did. I remember myself being so angry that I had the strong urge to punch and destroy whatever was within sight.

With a greater sense of maturity unlike before, I can tell that what Jay and I did was wrong. The way things look now, we were kids throwing an ill-placed tantrum. I can't say the same for my friend, but looking back at everything that I have wrote or done, I realize how self-centered I was; the world nothing more but a vessel to spread all my self-caused hatred and problems. My insides seethed at the thought of Uncle because Jay hated him: the thing that mattered most then was the fact that Uncle was the one who left Jay. I didn't place any effort on knowing the reason for it. As I read again what Uncle had to say about Jay's breaking of silence, he made it clear that there is more to the world than just our own childish little selves. I have read this on a lonely midnight three years ago, and only now did I understand what he truly meant. I knew Uncle was as patient as he was intelligent, and I guess what happened was that sadly, he ran out of wire. I'm not the one to blame him, because I'm sure his load was just as full like anybody else's.

I may never know the entire story, but as an outsider with a broader perspective than before, I know that both Jay and Uncle had a terrible misunderstanding, made worse by volatile emotions that ultimately put their friendship, trust, and faith in one another to ruin. I do not know if they have made efforts to reconcile. But even if they haven't, I'm hopeful that both of them are continuing to grow not to be better human beings, but to be more mature individuals who know their own unique strand in the endless fabric of life.


Jay, Uncle, I hope you are both well and good. Someday, I wish to see both of you in person, probably not together, but see you guys in person nonetheless. I just want to shake your hands firmly and politely thank you guys. 'Di niyo lang alam, you guys are one of the persons why the nasty little blogger who wrote nothing but negativity came out the sane and strong person he is today. Cheesy and drama as shit, but true.