First Day High

I'm feeling a little queasy about starting work on Monday. It's been almost a year since I graduated from school, and I was pretty much doing nothing since then. I feel half-baked. A part of me doesn't want to let go of the life free from responsibilities, however a part of me wants to grow up and move on with life. Maybe this half and half feeling is coming from the fact that past the disciplined facade of myself, I am essentially a lazy person deep down inside.

It was nice to take a break from the heat of things. A long break, but it was still nice to step out of the limelight and give myself some room to think about what I really want to do in life.

I'm just a little worried that the work I agreed to do for three years isn't my corner in the sky. Sure, I like the feeling of victory and sense of accomplishment programming brings, but I still dream of other things. Questions always filled my head, but I never gave them a proper response. Almost a year has passed, and up until now, I still can't prudently say to myself that I have decided to "grow up".

Maybe it's just the stress brought about by an inevitable change in life. Being a person who secretly likes routine and monotony, this challenge is testing how resilient my character is. Hopefully, I am still pliant to welcome my new life, not that I have any other choice.

Maybe that's it.