Singleness

People often go soul searching in order to quell the feeling of loneliness deep inside. I know, since two years ago, I felt the seemingly unending feeling of sadness overflowing myself. I thought that loving someone and being loved in return would drain all the grief I felt in being single. So on June 22, 2009, a person and I decided to be together in a relationship.

Our relationship was one of the best things that happened in my life. Everything felt so right, and the days blanketed by the rain of sadness suddenly became bright, sunny days. But, as the morning is followed by night, those sunny days were soon to be preceded by episodes of storm surges; the very same rain that showered me before was back, and was even stronger. I felt the bitter cold creep into my bones, as my insides shivered to an uncontrollable fit of despair.

Yes, nothing was wrong with the person I loved. However, we got so comfortable and complacent with each other and in our relationship that in fact, we didn't act like we were in a relationship. As the weeks and months passed, our relationship as lovers slowly changed. For some, what happened was that the flame of love slowly died to a smoking rubble. But for us, what happened was that our love transcended the boundaries of a relationship. We still love each other very much, but in a manner unlike before.

After a year and a half, and after knowing that both of us had our own mistakes, we agreed that we still love each other, but now, as family. I know, it sounds so tired and used, but until today, he still lives with us here at home. My mother has adopted him to be her third son, and there is no kind of rift between us.

Singleness isn't something that happens to a person because of luck, bad genes, or by whatever force outside the person's realm of control or knowledge. Being single is in fact, a choice. I have learned that before one can truly love somebody, one must completely love and wholly accept oneself first -- and that can only happen if one is single, happy with the world, and with no regrets or contempt in life.

Yes, being single at times can be lonely, but that's a fact we need to learn and accept. I'd rather be single rather than be in a strenuous, no growth relationship. In my experience, a couple in a straining relationship cannot properly learn and grow from one another, while a person content in being single can learn almost everything and anything from almost anyone.

So cheer up and remember: you're not the only one who's single.