Sometimes, I wish I can just keep looking and moving forward, and leave everything behind. Things get so messed up that I want to turn back time and undo mistakes of the past, but all I could do is just stop the tears that have welled up in my eyes.
I hate the awkward feeling of being unable to say anything. I dislike the momentary muteness because I don't exactly know what to say. Things sometimes get so taken for granted that it becomes out of hand: a salve to ease the pain being impossible to find; the wounds slowly getting deeper and deeper, prisoner to the shackles that bond freedom into sorrow.
How can people be so blind, mute, and deaf all at the same time? How can they manage to be so selfish, keeping their thoughts to themselves and leaving the people who love them bitterly cold under a rain of misunderstanding?
I have tried to hold on to the fragments that were left behind. It appears I'm just foolishly wounding myself. I was the one who wanted this in the first place, so how come I'm whining now? Deep down inside, I still yearn to make the erroneous past the living present. However, with sadness in my heart, I must learn to face the truth that I cannot do anything more in my capacity to help. Some things need to be realized and faced alone.
If you insist in keeping your eyes tightly shut and cupping your hands over your ears, why don't you try closing the doors to your heart?
I hate doing this. I hate this feeling. I feel so fcuking selfish, even if I know I shouldn't.
Please. Trust me.
No comments:
Post a Comment