A Genuine Smile

It's my 23rd birthday tomorrow.

Like my previous birthday, I'm not looking forward to this "special day". I've been going in and out of small states of depression, and today seems to be the all-time low. Not that I want to do stupid things or what; it's just that for some reason, I have lost the ability to smile for no apparent reason. For the past few months, I always found a reason to smile: the nice weather, silly little things that make me happy, or just plain seeing my friends at work. Now, everything seems so heavy. I can't imagine how happy and content I became when I saw the simple things most people overlook in the everyday things we encounter. Time in and time out, I find myself staring to an invisible horizon, spacing out for no tangible reason. It is as if I'm continually searching for something deep inside, even if I have long realized that I have already lost it.

I miss the feeling of a genuine smile. If there is one present I'd like to receive, it's that.