My birthday passed just like any ordinary day. A few of my friends greeted me which warmed my heart. It was a pleasant feeling. For a moment, I felt content. But after those fleeting seconds, the air was once again saturated with a heavy, uncomfortable feeling. It was as if there was something I needed to do, something I wanted to do, but couldn't. My heart wanted to search for that warm patch of sunlight, but my body and my mind were frightened stiff from the unknown.
No, I was wrong when I said I wanted a genuine smile. What I have lost is the capacity to produce a genuine feeling. Swimming in a seemingly endless ocean of shallow emotions, I wonder what happened that stripped me the ability to feel with my entire heart. I've always been proud to be a deep, kindhearted person. Now, all I see in the mirror is a ghost of the past, an empty shell of the proud present I was.
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